The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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