Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think my vagina is haunted
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
