does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
