sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
