I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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