he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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