Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
