now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
