Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
