tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
