You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
