we're blogging at a bar
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
