ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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