...so i touched it.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
