That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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