Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize