Having a random hookup so left but love u
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We're too hungover to prance.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
