it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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