im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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