I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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