guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
