so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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