Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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