Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
