I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize