Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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