? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
