it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD