I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.