im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
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When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.