We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.