those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize