I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize