Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This is classic penis vs brain.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
