Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
