they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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