so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize