I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We smell like vodka and hangover
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