i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
