it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
