Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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