Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
