he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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