i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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