just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
