No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
