chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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