I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
