Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
