A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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