we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
