I want to make a zoo with you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
