and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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