If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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