So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Holy sore nipples Batman
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
