better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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