Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize