So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
