I cannot find my penis.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
