my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
