You made me cry and you don't even care
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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