Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
