We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
