You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize