So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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