Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we're making bets on your personal life
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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