Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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