You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
