I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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