we have officially lost it.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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