At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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