it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
