I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
